Even amongst male friends erectile dysfunction is not widely spoken about. The subject is taboo, as it directly affects ones manhood. It’s a secret to most men it affects. Some don’t tell their best friend, let alone to seek help from a doctor.
Maybe you have opened up to a friend in the past you were probably told “you had too much drink” or “it’s happened to all of us at some time or other, don’t be worrying”.
The conversation moves on, you’re none the wiser.
It can take alot of courage to broach the subject and if you feel you haven’t been heard it can really knock your confidence.
Erectile Dysfunction (E.D.) is one of a man’s best kept secrets, but it can slowly eat them up from the inside out and destroy relationships and erode their self-esteem.
What is erectile dysfunction?
It is the continued inability to get or maintain an erection and/or have little or no sexual desire.
There are a number of psychological causes for E.D.
Cultural & Environment
Perhaps you grew up in a very strict household and you were told that sex is something not to happen outside of marriage. You could have been brought up in a very religious environment and had it indoctrinated in you from quite young that sex is “bad”. A parent or someone rearing you could install a negative suggestion in your mind shaming the act of sex, due to cultural or religious beliefs, where it is absorbed into your mind and becomes a negative belief.
Consider for a moment what is going on in your life inside and outside your home.
- Are relationships at home difficult?
- Do you find yourself avoiding your partner due to increased heated discussions/rows?
- Do you feel less attracted to your significant other?
- Is there clear and direct communication for your needs?
- Do you show each other respect and affection?
- Are external members of your family causing you stress?
- Are you under financial stress and pressure?
- Do you like your work, workplace and colleagues or have any issues at work?
- Are you questioning your sexuality?
- Could you be living a lie?
Too much use or overuse of pornography and the type of pornography viewed can lead to an unhealthy way you think people should look, act, and perform sexually. This leads you to being underwhelmed by what is available in the real world with little or no stimulation.
- Have you had pervious sexual encounters where for one reason or another you haven’t been able to perform?
- The next time you go to try again, you find yourself not getting aroused, or not hard enough to perform? This plays on your mind each time adding more stress and pressure. You find yourself in a cycle of performance anxiety where it just doesn’t work.
- Using porn you feel you are comparing yourself to the porn starts/actors and it just isn’t happening for you.
Things you can do to help yourself right now.
Ask yourself the following questions and be honest with yourself.
When was the last time I had a check up with my doctor?
Am I overweight?
Do I exercise daily, if so, how much do I do?
How much alcohol do I drink during the week?
How much do I smoke?
You can book an appointment with your local doctor and explain to them what is happening around your erectile dysfunction. It’s all confidential and explain to them what is going on. They are medically trained and are there to help you. Click on this link to help you find the words to describe your experiences.
Maybe Hypnotherapy is a solution for you.
I know from working with male clients, early 20’s to late 60’s, who have come into my clinic for help with erectile dysfunction have found hypnotherapy very beneficial. Hypnosis is a gentle way of allowing the subconscious mind to help alleviate stress in their lives. Should there be any events of past performances that are playing in a loop at the back of your mind, these are positively reframed and changed. The male client usually feels back in control, with increased self-esteem, generally feeling very good and positive.
It is great to get a text from a client on a Sunday or Monday morning telling me that they have had the confidence to go dating again. Or they had a fantastic weekend because they feel like a man again!